


get dunked on

by bishounen_curious



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Autofellatio, F/M, How Do I Tag This, Masturbation, or an attempt of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 01:33:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7020052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bishounen_curious/pseuds/bishounen_curious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the #SASO2016 prompt: Remember the time that Aomine tried to suck his own dick and Momoi walked in on him? Do you also remember how Aomine then gave himself a minor concussion by trying to cover up what he was doing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	get dunked on

**Author's Note:**

> i literally can't explain

“Satsuki, c’monnnnnnnnn.”

No amount of cheek poking was going to persuade her. Not today. She just rolled her eyes with a cute huff, batting away Aomine’s annoyingly-persistent hand. “I said I’m tired.”

Aomine made a _tch_ sound as he ran his fingers through his cropped hair. “And I said I’m _horny_.”

“Stop being such a baby, Dai-chan.” She shifted away from him on the bed, and pulled the covers over her body, snuggling into her pillows as she moaned. “I had a long day. I just want to sleep.”

“Yeah, and I just want a _blowjob_.”

Satsuki was done playing nice, apparently. She bolted up in bed, the covers pooling at her lap. Aomine knew he should have been meeting her eyes, but his gaze couldn’t stop itself from gravitating south, where she had the _nerve_ to be squeezed into that skimpy, black lace cami or hers. Why did she even change into it to sleep in, lord knows that thing wasn’t comfortable. It was the one that made her massive tits look positively _divine_. The one that she had bought two months ago because she knew, that _witch_ , that it’d drive Aomine up the fucking wall. All it took was dropping her shoulders, puffing out her chest, and biting that sexy bottom lip of hers that first time she wore it, asking him in her most raspy voice (which also drove him up yet another wall) if he wanted to _play_.

That same fucking cami. She was wearing that piece of sin. Except this time, no sexy whisper or pout or a promise to take a well-deserved trip to poundtown was anywhere near it. 

“ _Daiki_.” She hissed. Here we fucking _go_. “I said I’m _exhausted_.”

She was getting so defensive about this. Why? She was always ragging on him to be honest about his feelings and shit, and here he goes and throws her a bone, and she just _berates_ him. He was just doing what she asked. _Honesty ain’t always pretty, Satsuki, okay?_

But, he couldn’t be a _complete_ dick about this. He had to play the game by her rules if he wanted to score.

Honest and _apologetic_ it was.

“I’m sorry, but we haven’t done anything all week. And you’re wearing,” he vaguely gestured to the tits he couldn’t stop ogling, “ _that_ , and just… y’know.”

That wasn’t placating in the least. Damn. Satsuki just crossed her arms and - _Jesus Christ, stop pushing them up, will ya?!_ \- and leaned forward threateningly. “Y’know?” She repeated, clearly unamused. “I think, _y’know_ , that you should stop being so damn selfish all the time.”

Aomine narrowed his eyes. “What’d you mean by that?”

“I mean,” she flipped a loose strand of pink hair behind her ear, “I’m not dating you only to fulfill your every sexual whim.”

He could’ve said a lot back to her. Had a number of choice words he could’ve thrown in her face. Arguments to start, blame to place. But maybe, maybe Aomine was a little tired too tonight. He sure as hell didn’t have the strength to go at it with Satsuki right now (nor did he really want to, because deep down, he knew there was a kernel of truth to what she was saying). So, all he did was huff and jump off her bed and pad barefoot to the bedroom door.

“Where’re you going?” She asked, her anger flitting away briefly to make room for confusion.

“I’ll just do it myself.” He grumbled too low for her to hear, slamming the door closed behind him.

\---

The first thing Aomine did was go to _google.com_. The next thing he did was search, ‘how to suck your own dick’.

Surprisingly, a lot of results that popped up weren’t actually porn, like he suspected, but actually _step-by-step manuals_ on how to _actually manage_ to get his mouth around his dong. Which was pretty freakin’ sweet.

He walked through the hallway of Satsuki’s house as he waited for one of the first results to load. Damn wifi in here was too slow. But, it was a blessing her parents were gone for the weekend, so he’d be able to find a nice, quiet place to experiment.

But as he passed by the bathroom, with its door wide open, he suddenly realized he had to pee. Then another realization. _Well, I don’t wanna piss in my mouth…_

So after that was taken care of, he decided that this wasn’t actually a bad place to try, the bathroom. If he made a mess, and hopefully he did with his jizz going fucking everywhere because he could make himself nut like a fucking pro, he’d be in the perfect place to clean it all up. And people said he had a one-track mind. Fuck that, he was pretty damn _sagacious_ when he needed to be, thank you very much.

Flipping the seat down, he sat down on the lid and took off his basketball shorts and underwear, letting them pile at his bare feet. Okay, step one. Step two. He grabbed his half-hard dick and gave it a few generous tugs. The thought of Satsuki blowing him had been pretty affecting… And maybe the possibility that he was gonna suck himself off was even more so. Whatever. Didn’t matter. It made this part easier, already being a little hard. His shoulders sagged a little as his large fingers rubbed over his head, blinking his eyes to keep them focus as he scrolled through the article. _Okay, step two done._ But Aomine didn’t necessarily want to stop, so he jerked himself off as he read on. 

Why not?

Three: _don’t be fat_. What the fuck? This article was savage as hell. But… _step three, check, I guess_. He may not be thin but he was ripped as hell. Hopefully that wasn’t an issue… Whoever wrote this was a huge dick.

Four: _loosen up_. The article was telling him to not just go for it willy-nilly, but to spend a week stretching his neck, and back, and shit. Yeah, no way in hell. He didn’t have time for that, and all his non-stop basketball practice kept him pretty damn limber. So… no. Next.

Five: _eat healthy so your spunk doesn’t taste like shit_. Um. He conveniently forgot about all the receipts for fastfood burgers in his bedroom.

Six: _pick a position_. Cool. Several of them were illustrated on the page, which was rad. One of them showed a dude on his back, with his feet on the wall over his head as he sucked himself off. Aomine snickered at that, giving himself a nice squeeze (but not in like… a looking at porn kinda way. Nah. No way). 

Oh, and this one guy was on the toilet! Just like him! Aomine grinned, until he read the caption: _Our friend mastered the art of the self-suck while taking a shit. We won’t even go into the issues with this one._

Aomine took a brief moment to weigh whether or not he should move out of here and find a new place to do this.

_Chill, man. That ain’t me._

So, he stays. Fine. 

And he scrolled through the rest of the article, but that was pretty much it, besides a sarcastic _lol good luck, share your stories with us!_ at the bottom. Aomine rolled his eyes. 

But, if that was it… Then he guess he should just go for it. 

The first attempt, just leaning down head first, while trying to cant his hips upwards, was of course a failure. Aomine was just staring at his dickhead, a sad amount of centimeters away, and frowned. Well, _fuck_. He checked back, regretfully, at the illustration of the guy on the toilet. He had his torso twisted, and his arm braced against the wall, and somehow had a good amount of himself in his mouth. Huh. That looked doable. 

Aomine placed his hand onto the wall, right below the towel rack, and lurched down gradually, careful of spraining anything. Alright, closer this time. But if he just opened his mouth, pulled his dick up just a bit, stuck out his tongue as far out as he could….

But of course, God hated him, because Satsuki then walked by the bathroom door, which was _wide fucking open_ and then locked eyes with her boyfriend, naked as a newborn baby, making straining, pathetic grunting noises as he tried to lick the head of his boner.

_“DAIKI. WHAT THE FUCK.”_

“HOLY SHIT, SATSUKI -!!” He shot up fast, but his head collided with the towel rack and Aomine swore he could see fucking _stars_. He yelped, and suddenly he became dizzy, too dizzy like he was gonna puke, and the next thing he knew he was collapsing forward onto the floor, with Satsuki behind him, fretting very loudly (and unhelpfully) as she tried to help flip him over onto his back on the cold tile floor.

_How in fuck’s sake did he forget to close the door?_

“Daiki, what did you do?” From her hovering spot above him, Daiki had a great view of her monster tits, as well as a good one of her terrified face. Actually, he could see _two_ of her faces. 

Aw, shit.

“If you got a concussion from trying to suck your own dick I swear to God -”

“No, no,” he grumbled, feeling a wave of fresh pain crash over his thumping skull, “I wasn’t.”

“I saw your _tongue_ near your own penis.”

“Noooo.” He protested, feeling hot, from embarrassment and something else he couldn’t quite identify.

“Daiki, _yes_.”

“ _No._ ” He didn’t know if he was objecting to her discovery of his pathetic truth or the fiery agony flashing down from his brain to the base of his spine, coupling with the hot, indescribable feeling rising in his gut.

Maybe it was both? But really, who gave a crap, because suddenly everything started to go black as he began to lose consciousness. The last thing he heard was Satsuki’s seething form tell him:

“I’m telling the doctor at the emergency room that you gave yourself a fucking _concussion_ during _basketball season_ by trying to _auto-fellate_.”

**Author's Note:**

> i used an actual, pretty dickish article for this. 
> 
> also i can't believe this was my first knb fic
> 
> bishounen-curious.tumblr.com


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